Files of the KND Universe
by TheSandIsCold
Summary: A mumbo jumbo of files, transcripts, texts and audio recordings that give an insight into the background of The chronicles of the KND Universe. Rated T for rude language.
1. Chapter 1

**File #1**

In view of the situation these last weeks, we have no choice. Recent reports from the front lines indicate that Teen and Adult activities have soared in the last few months. They have initiated a brutal crackdown on KND activities. The fact that the Villain we call father is currently running for the presidency of a powerful Adult Nation doesn't make things easier. Our first answer to this problem was to capture as many Adult Villains or Rogue Kids as possible, and decommission them. However, it seems that the enemy has found a solution to this problem. Freshly decommissioned Teen Ninjas, back in the fight in a week, with their memories seemingly intact. Mind wiped ice cream men, selling ice-cream to kids one day, kidnapping them the next.

This is why Global Command has made the decision to reinforce the security at Arctic Base. More cells and sub levels will be added. Each one more secured than the last one, to accommodate the enemy judged on the menace they represent. High-security KND prisons are being built in Europe, America, North Africa and Antarctica. Hopefully, by containing the enemy, after having decommissioned him, we will be able to cut down a significant portion of the Adult Troops.

Kids Next Door Rulez


	2. File 2

**File #2**

[SUPER BIG COMPUTERMABOB PASSWORD : ACCESS GRANTED]

[ACCESSING KND ARCHIVES]

[ACCESSING : LIST OF MIA OPERATIVES]

[PAGE 256]

[UNO, NIGEL]

NUMBUH : 1

DATE OF DISSAPERANCE : 2007

AGE PRESUMED AT DATE OF DISAPPERANCE : 11

REASON OF DISAPEARANCE : UNKNOWN

[ACCESSING : LIST OF FUGITIVES]

[PAGE 99]

[DICKSON, CHAD]

NUMBUH : 274

DATE OF DISSAPERANCE : 2007

AGE PRESUMED AT DATE OF DISSAPERANCE : 14

REASON FOR DISSAPERANCE : ESCAPING DECOMMISIONING

[PAGE 120]

[LINCOLN, CREE]

NUMBUH : 11

DATE OF DISSAPERANCE : 2008

AGE PRESUMED AT DATE OF DISSAPERANCE : 17

REASON FOR DISSAPERANCE : PRESUMABLY ESCAPING DECOMMISIONING

[PAGE 388]

[MACKENZIE, RACHEL]

NUMBUH : 362

DATE OF DISSAPERANCE : 2008

AGE PRESUMED AT DATE OF DISSAPERANCE : 12

REASON FOR DISSAPERANCE : UNKNOWN, FUGITIVE


	3. File 3

**File #3 **

_War never changes._

The dude who said that was wrong.

Through our history, humans have been fighting between them for land. Then they fought for religion. And after that they fought for ideals, of liberty and of patriotism. But now, the human race has hit the bedrock. Sure, ethnic and religious wars still occur in the poorest parts of the globe. However, the rest of the war is entangled in a conflict never seen before.

An age war.

Children have mostly become soldiers. They live on the moon, and oppose anything of old. Most adults have mundane lives, not caring what happens around them. Armies still exist, but even people such as Ice Cream men possess weapons these days. And then, there are teenagers. We're quite a diverse bunch.

Teenage society is a peculiar microcosm. We obey a hierarchy based on high-school society. We stay in it until we hit adulthood, when these rules lose all their significance, and we step into the adult world.

But things have been changing these last years. The old system is crumbling. The Teen Ninjas...and all the stuff they represent : The Prom Queen and King, the Queen Bees...The ''elite'' as they like to call themselves...Well, they aren't doing their job. The KND...these brats, they're becoming more fanatical. Their actions are getting more and more violent. Just last night I saved a girl near Picadilly. There was a whole sector of the little shits pursuing her with homemade weaponry.

It's been several years since the some of the Top Adult leaders decided to hire us for backup. I guess they got fed up of the Teenz global failure to contain the KND. Ragtag groups of Teen Mercenaries, that's what we were back then. The Texan Riders, the Space Junkies, the Order of Parkour Rockers (Bless my Brothers and Sisters. ), and several others who were incorporated into elite Teen Ninja divisions. And then there are the 3-Digits.

Compared to the bulk of the Teenz army, we're a drop of water in an ocean. For the moment we are few. It took a few years for each new Teenage militia to settle itself, but I've heard our numbers are on the rise. Maybe in a decade, or two, Teen Ninjas will be history. That would be favorable for Teenagers everywhere. Some of these Ninjerks are just as fanatical as the brats they oppose. They are in positions of power, and lick the Adult leaders feet. Because of this, a lot of us have the impression that adults are progressively taking control over us, if they haven't already achieved this goal.

Ah yes, the prospect of us replacing those buffoons seems comforting. But will it ever happen ? I guess only time will tell.

_Diary of a English Parkour Rocker Mercenary, Three days before his memory was wiped by the KND._


	4. File 4

**File #4**

The result of the presidential election have just been announced. The new President of the United States is Benedict Uno. The candidate for the Republican party has won the Electoral vote by a majority of 392 voices, against 148 voices in favor of his rival from the Democratic party, Senator Robert K. Safely. The new President immediately gave a speech in front of thousands of his supporters, at the New York Hilton in Manhattan. In his brief but crowd lifting tirade, the billionaire and CEO of Evil Adult Industries pledged to defend the citizens of the United States from any outside force that threatened American Supremacy. He also voiced his projects for education, promising a new system that would put children with scholar difficulties in special institutions suited to their needs. Next he announced another program concerning our nation's youth, intending to elevate its standard and bring out its best, morally and intellectual. Finally, he announced his intention to fight the so-called child terrorist organization known as the Kids Next Door.

Since this announcement, protests have broken out in the streets, voters of Senator Safely claiming the election was rigged. Many people were seen coming out into the streets with tears in their eyes. A certain number of people were also seen celebrating in the streets, with fire crackers and star spangled banners.

President Benedict Uno is expected to become president of the United States on the 21st of January, and will be replacing the previous president Barack Obama.

_-Twitter announcement from the New York Times, 16__th__ November 2012_


	5. File 5

**File #6**

Weredogs :

Weredogs are creatures similar to the Werewolf of European folklore (or American romantic horror movies, you choose.), to the key difference that the person afflicted with the curse transforms into a huge domesticated canid rather than a wolf. An other important difference is that Weredog packs are centered around a Queen rather than a Alpha couple. Although Weredogs can be dangerous towards humans, they mostly pursue them to obtain and devour whatever sheet of intellectual property the victims possess. One of the favorite meals is a student's homework. It is possible to put down a Weredog by feeding a poorly written essay.

Spank Happy Vampires :

Spank Happy Vampires are a particular breed of Vampires descending from the Hungarian VonSpanklestein house. Their powers are very similar to the normal blood drinking vampire. Spank Happy Vampires are one of the few vampire families that have overcome their thirst for blood. However, as expected, this caused them to assert their taste for violence in other painful ways. Spank Happy Vampires are very intolerant towards rude behavior, particularly when coming from children. Each Spank Happy vampire has the capacity to transform other people into their kind by spanking them. The time it takes to transform someone varies greatly. This is why most of these vampires wear gloves while committing their evil deeds, as they do not want to attract attention to themselves by spreading their curse.

The most notorious of these fiends is Count Vladimir B. Spankulot, a Spank Happy Vampire known for terrifying children worldwide. A Spank Happy Vampire's curse can be neutralized if the person concerned spanks the vampire that turned it.

Prep Succubus :

Prep Succubes usually take the appearance of a teenage girl or a young woman. Similar to vampires, they can live up to a thousand years. Succubes usually use a powerful mix of seduction and hormones to attract their prey, which mostly consist of young men. It only takes a kiss on the lips, for the poor soul to become a slave of the Prep Succubus, until the curse is broken, or the victim succumbs to hunger, violence or whatever happens to it. It has also been observed that the succubus slaves can transmit their curse to other people by kissing them. Sights and occurrences of these beings happened mostly in the eighties, but it is speculated that some of them are still roaming around, hiding in high schools, and colleges, awaiting for an occasion to strike. Wearing any kind of gas mask can protect you from the hormonal scent they produce, just as having any kind of pyrotechnical piece of weaponry (Prep Succubes hate fire.). A mirror is also a good thing to have when confronting them. Prep Succubes are notorious for being very concerned about their appearance. Forcing them to look into a mirror can give you a precious few seconds of distraction.

[DATA EXPUNGED] Zombies :

[DATA CORRUPTED]

_-Teen Ninja intelligence report on various supernatural entities_


	6. File 6

**DATE** : 12/07/2011-14/07/2011

**LOCATION** :

**[DATA EXPUNGED]**, BOLIVIA

**OBJECTIVE** :

INVESTIGATE THE DISAPPEARANCE OF UNIT **[DATA EXPUNGED]**

**SIDE OBJECTIVE** :

INVESTIGATE SIGHTINGS OF ENEMY TEENAGERS ARBORING

**[DATA EXPUNGED]**.

**UNITS DEPLOYED** :

005, 26, 40, **[DATA EXPUNGED]**, 68, 96, 105, [DATA EXPUNGED],

**[DATA EXPUNGED]**, 210, 223, 239, 242, 244, 245, 249, 472, 835.

**SIDE NOTES **:

UNITS WERE HELPED BY LOCAL TEEN NINJA UNITS FROM THE TOWNS OF **[DATA EXPUNGED], [DATA EXPUNGED]** AND **[DATA EXPUNGED]**.

**DETAILLED ACCOUNT** :

ON THE 12/07/2011, UNITS 26, 40 AND **[DATA EXPUNGED] **WERE SENT TO INVESTIGATE LOCATIONS TO THE NORTH OF **[DATA EXPUNGED]** AT 11 AM.

THEY ENCOUNTERED SOME OF THE** [DATA CORRUPTION] **ARBORING TEENS.

UNIT 26 LOST** [DATA EXPUNGED] **WHILE UNIT 40 LOST **[DATA EXPUNGED]**. **[DATA** **EXPUNGED]** WERE NEUTRALIZED.

ALL LISTED UNITS LISTED ABOVE WERE SENT TO RECOVER THE SURVIVORS OF UNIT 26, 40 AND **[DATA EXPUNGED]**. DURING SAID ENGAGEMENT, UNITS

**40, 96, 112,239, 242, 245, 249 AND 472** ENCOUNTERED MORE UNITS OF HI**(DATACORRUPTION)**EN. **UNITS 242 AND 249 WERE SEPARATED** FROM OTHER UNITS. AT 6 PM, HQ REALISED WE HAD BEEN BAITED. THE **(DATACORRUPTION)** LAUNCHED A MISSILE STRIKEON THE TOWN, FROM A LOCATION UNKNOWN AT THE TIME. SEVERAL ELEMENTS INCLUDING PANICKED ADULTS, LIMITED PRESENT UNITS EFFICIENCY. UNIT **[DATA EXPUNGED]** STARTING LOCATION OF MISSILE LAUNCH. FIRST ANALYSIS OF DEBRIS OF PROJECTILES REVEAL USE OF **BROCOL-456.** ARRIVAL OF TEEN NINJA UNITS FROM **[DATA EXPUNGED], [DATA EXPUNGED]** AND **[DATA EXPUNGED]**. LOCATION OF ENEMY BASE FOUND AT 10:52 PM PRECISELY. AIRIAL SURVEILLANCE FROM UNIT 245 SHOWED UNKNOWN ENEMY ARMOR PROGRESSING TOWARDS **[DATA EXPUNGED]** FROM THE NORTH-WEST. UNITS 68 AND 105 DISPATCHED TO DEAL WITH THREAT. ENEMY UNIT TOTALLY OBLITERATED.

**[DATA EXPUNGED]** ENEMY PERSONNEL TAKEN AS PRISONERS. UNIT 68 LOSES **2** **S.U.R.E.M. **, BUT NO CASUALITIES. PROGRESS TOWARDS ENEMY BASE INITIATED THE 13/07/2011 AT 8 AM. UNITS **96, 239, 245 AND ELEMENTS OF 112** PROGRESSING FROM NORTH OF **[DATA EXPUNGED]**. **TEEN NINJA** UNITS, AS WELL AS **UNITS 68, 105, AND ELEMENTS OF 112** GOING NORTH WEST. **UNIT [DATA** **EXPUNGED]** INITIATES FLANKING MANEUVER FROM THE EAST. ALONG THE WAY, ALL THREE FORMATIONS PICKUP **SURVIVORS OF 242 AND 249**. REPORTS FROM SAID

UNITS PROVIDE VITAL INTEL ON ENEMY FORCES AND POSITIONS. COMMENCING ATTACK OF ENEMY BASE AT 12 AM. UNITS 68 AND 105 INITIATE **SPEARHEAD FORMATION**, FOLLOWED BY 96, 242 AND TEENZ UNITS. 239, 245 AND PART OF 249 **DESTROY MAIN ENTRANCE GATE AT 1 AM**. UNIT 239 SUFFERED** [DATA EXPUNGED]** LOSSES. UNIT **[DATA EXPUNGED]** AND REMNANTS OF 249 INFILTRATE **(DATACORRUPTION)** BASE. BATTLE THROUGH **6 SUBLEVELS**. NO CASUALTIES. 2 MEMBERS OF 249 AND 1 FROM **[DATA EXPUNGED]** SUFFER SUBSTANCIAL WOUNDS.

HEAVY FIGHTING IN THE LAST SUBLEVEL. CRITICAL FAILURE TO PREVENT **[DATA** **EXPUNGED] REACTION**. **DOZEN OF TEENS AFFECTED BY [DATA EXPUNGED]**.

ENEMY RETREATS FROM POSITIONS THANKS TO 96 AND 68 COMBINED PUSH. ENEMY BASE INVESTIGATED. UNIT **[DATA EXPUNGED]** RETRIEVED, AS WELL AS **SEVERAL BRATS FROM KND SECTOR [DATACORRU...]**. UNITS 249, **[DATA** **EXPUNGED]** AND **[DATA EXPUNGED]** TAKEN INTO CARE OF **UNIT 112**. BASE EVACUATED AND DESTROYED AFTER CAREFULL INSPECTION FROM 26 AND 245.

**ALL UNITS DEPLOY BACK TO [DATA EXPUNGED]**. TEENS IN NEED OF MEDICAL ATTENTION BROUGHT BACK VIA AIRBORNE TRAVEL, THANKS TO UNIT 472. ALL MATERIALS DEEMED WORTHY OF INFORMATION BY UNITS 26 AND 245 WERE TRANSMITTED TO UNIT **[DATA EXPUNGED]**.

**CASUALITIES** : **[DATA EXPUNGED]**

FINAL NOTES :

THIS EVENT IS A PROOF THAT OUR ORGANIZATION MUST INCLUDE **NEW INFORMATION AND TEACHINGS IN BASIC TRAINING. THE POSSIBILITY OF CASUALTIES MUST BE NOW TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT. THE NUMBERS, ALTHOUGH RELATIVELY LOW, ARE STILL A PROOF THAT OUR TRAINING ISN'T RAD ENOUGH TO PROTECT OUR FELLOW TEENS FROM THIS KIND OF SITUATION.** PSYCHOLOGICAL SOLUTIONS ARE BEING RESEARCHED FOR

THOSE **MENTALY SCARRED**, AS WELL AS THOSE AFFECTED BY **[DATA EXPUNGED]**.

THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT POINT IS HOW **"UNO TECHNOLOGY"** FELL INTO

THE HANDS OF THE H**(DATACORRUPTION)**EN. HOW DID THEY SURVIVE SINCE **19XX**, AND **HOW THIS IS SO CLICHE IS STILL A MYSTERY**. IT IS URGENT THAT RESEARCH UNITS GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

-_ultra-supa-omega classified document, straight from the 3-Digits archives._

**NO, I'M NOT DEAD, I'VE JUST HAD A LOT OF STUFF ON MY HANDS RECENTLY. BUT I'M BACK. THIS FILE ACTUALLY TIES IN WITH THE MAIN STORY OF THIS AU. THE SECOND CHAPTER OF COTKU : 249 IS CURRENTLY BEING WRITTEN.**


End file.
